3:44 AM/The Distance Factor

I am sitting in bed right now and Meg is next to me like always but I feel like she is a million miles away for some reason.  You see; Finances around here have been tight and she has been working constantly at two jobs and attending school.  It breaks my heart that she has to do so much but I can't work and bills have to be paid.  Actually, I have taken a part-time job but it pays poorly and offers few hours.  It is more something that I took to occupy myself but the money does help a bit around here.

You should see her.  I want to touch her and hold here.  I would give anything to make love to my beautiful wife right now but she is so peaceful and I would hate to disturb her.  She worked until 1:00 this morning and tomorrow I believe that she works both jobs.  I miss her so much.  I have a hard time being alone anymore. 

So I am sitting here and the tears are falling again.  I am just so damn lost.  I have been hurting again lately and for some reason my sleep schedule is all messed up again.  I hate when it gets all messed up like this because I know that there are many long nights and foggy days like this ahead of me.  But at the same time, I know that a weekend with my little ladies is coming soon and that warms me and gives me something to focus on.  I don't have any plans for our next weekend together  but I am sure that we will think of something fun to do.  I don't think that they really care what we do as long as we do it together.  They are such incredible little people.

Well maybe I should end this for now and try to calm myself down a bit.  Maybe I should wrap my arms around Megan and not let go for a long while.  But again, I hate bothering her.  She needs her rest.  I just hate feeling so far from her.

I hope that all is well out there for everyone.  I hope that the weekend is bringing you joy.  I hope that you all feel love in your hearts.

Thank you again for reading my words and for making my life a bit less lonely.  I am so happy that I have this blog back on track again!  It appears that most of my regular readers are back and that is great!  I apologize If you have a blog and I have not left a comment for a while.  I have been lurking around a bit and reading many blogs.

Smile today!

-Ruben

Comments

[Mr Ken]

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[Andrew]

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[Grams]

Hello Ruben,
How are you feeling this day Sunday October 8th? nice and breezy here this morning.. have a happy day and think nice healthy thoughts.. I love you, Grams,,,

[Heather]

My husband and I have a very busy life...and when we go to bed, we are exhausted. BUT no matter what happened during the day, no matter how tired I am, or how the kids got on my nerves, or how much the dogs tore up in the house..none of that matters when my husband puts his arms around me and hugs and tells me he loves me. It all goes away....the stress, the pain, the exhaustion...disappears. Even in the middle of the night when I wake up because my husband has awakened me-to say I love you or just wrap his arms around me and hold me. Never pass up a moment to do that....sometimes, it means everything in the world. I hope you are having a better day and are feeling better...

[Heather]

Ruben,
I agree with Lisa B. No matter how out of it Meg is from a long day of work and school having your hug her and whisper to her means the world! That reminds her how much you appreciate all she does and that you notice it.
I know you don't want to bug her in the middle of the night, but she'll savor all the hugs and kisses you can give to her! :)

[Freebird]

Meg sounds like such a great gal.

[Crazy Lady In Vegas]

Lisa B is right. Hugs and 3 little words go farther thn anything else.

[Lisa B]

Thanks for clicking. Means alot!

[EXSENO]

All Meg needs is for you to do your best to stay a healthy as you can under the cercumstances until you get that transplant. That is all that wee all want for you Ruben. So take care of yourself for us all, we are waiting for that day. In the meantime we will cheer you on to victory.

[Lisa B]

From this woman's perspective... I would give anything for my hubby to feel the same way about me that you feel about Meg. And if he ever wanted to give me a hug or hold me -- no matter how tired I am -- I would welcome it and revel in it. Its always me that initiates a hug and I'm the one to say "I love you" first each and every time. It would be nice to hear it first now and again.

So I hope that you hugged her and let her know how much you love her.