Each Day Counts

We did it!

I am exhausted today but totally happy!  The show last night was amazing and we had a great deal of fun.  It was a complete success!  It is amazing how much this town that I live in really got together for me.  It was almost like the whole city was there at some point over the course of the evening.

This is the comment that I left for Megan on her MySpace account this morning:

So we had a big, big party and people came and dropped off money and hope and prayers and they hugged us and I danced with a beautiful woman with eyes of silver.

I think she loves me. I sure hope so because she is lovely and full of life and sometimes I see her side that she never shows anyone else. And you know...I love that side of her because it is just mine and that is special to me.

This man loves you deeply Megan. This man always, always will!

-Ruben

___

Meg is out of town this weekend with her family but I hope she can check her web accounts from a hotel somewhere.  I love her so much!  Life is good!  Yesterday counted!  Today counts!  Have some fun this weekend and know that we are all just lucky to be be ok.  No matter how bad life seems to get,  just remember that there is someone somewhere that is hoping for you.  Hope is something nobody can ever steal from you.  It lives right there in your heart and makes you come to life!

Thank you for all of your support! 

Fergietastic Musical Expressions

Some of you may know of my unhealthy obsession with the music of Paris Hilton.   I understand that this is a sick, sad addiction but I am looking for a support group.  If you know of one...let me know please.

Anyway, I feel another unhealthy addiction coming on like a pack of wild rhinos out for a kill!  I hate, hate, hate The Black Eyed Peas because they have been looking for the love for years and it is clearly right there in Paris Hilton's uh....purse.

Anyway, I just downloaded Fergie's (The Queen Pea) new album that was just released and guess what...I love it!  No really.  It's damn good.  She can sing.

I just had to get that out in the open.  You can go on with your daily lives now.  One more thing...I am feeling ok out here.  I am a wee bit sleepy (that was for my Irish readers and U2 fans) but otherwise I am doing just fine.  I will report back when and If I explode or something.

Smile today!  I am in a hilarious mood and you should be too!

Fall air, Barenaked Ladies, John Mayer and Los Lobos

I am sitting here alone just trying to get down some lunch but I am not sure how long that it will stick with me.  Everything that I eat lately seems to want to come back and say hello again.  I just got home from Target and I am pretty happy to have discovered that they are "dog friendly."  This means that I won't be hassled by security if I let Tinkerbell ride in the cart as I cruise the aisles.  She sure loves it!  Kids and incredibly beautiful woman seem to have a fondness for her.  They may fear me, but they love her!

So, the music is playing here like always and I am listening to some work that was released last week by Los Lobos, The Barenaked Ladies and John Mayer.  Mayer's album will be a massive hit but the others will probably only have marginal sales.  That is just not right because Los Lobos has never sounded this damn good and The Barenaked Ladies...well they are just a personal favorite of mine.

So Meg will be home tonight about 9:00 and she has had a hell of a day.  So I will hold her and maybe we will watch a film or something.  Time with her is so rare anymore and that fact is taking a toll on me.  I know that she is gone for a reason but I have the right to miss her.  Hopefully the next year or so will bring some changes in our lives that will allow us more freedom and time.  Time is precious around here.  Time should be precious everywhere.

Have a great day out there in the world today!  Maybe cruise over to Target with your pooch and cruise the music racks.  There is some great stuff out right now!

The Benefit Concert

Many of you have been reading my words for a long time and you have watched as I try to live in the midst of some sort of evil curse.  I go through so many ups and downs and sometimes I get depressed and just wish that just one good thing would happen to me.  I mean, is that too much to ask?

Well, it looks like something great is in the works!  On September 29th a group of my friends and local bands here in Modesto are having a party for me to help me out with some expenses that I have been struggling with.

For one night we will be taking over a local bar and restaurant and we will be celebrating my crazy life.  Tickets for the event will be available at the door the night of the event.  We are not trying to get rich here by any means.  I just need a little help right now.

So like the poster below says, there is a SUGGESTED donation of $10 but nobody will be turned away based on that.  You can give more or less depending on how you feel. Seating is limited to only about 150 people and we hope that everyone that wants to come can fit in.

So if you live here in Modesto, please come and let me thank you personally for all the love that you have shown to my wife and I over the years.  Let me shake your hand or hug you and thank you for every prayer that you have said for us.

If you don't live here or cannot make the event but would like to donate you can send donations to:

Ruben Porras
819 West Roseburg Avenue
PMB 129
Modesto, CA 95350

Any amount at all will be appreciated!

Thank you for taking the time to read this!  If you have further questions, comments  or  concerns, email: benefit@eachdaycounts.com.

With all of my love,

Ruben

Willie Nelson, Ice Cream and Passion

It is Sunday morning and I am sitting in my office with the girls and we are listening to Willie Nelson.  So many other kids would never sit and listen to Willie but they seem to understand that this music does something special for me.  They listen to so many types of music and that makes me so proud.  Lauren will even sit and close her eyes once in a while to really understand the lyrics and I love to watch her do that.

I closed my eyes a few times on Thursday night as I watched Willie live.  He was amazing live and the music really made me feel alive and for the couple hours that he sang, I wasn't sick anymore.  I didn't feel any pain.  I just listened and watched that little old hippie touch everyone there in one special way or another.  There were little old ladies there that just broke out in dance and old men that looked like they had lived every word of every song that was sung.  But there were also younger folks like Meg and I that just needed to be there.  It was really the most beautiful show that I have ever gone to and I have been to so many.  You know, if I never see another live show I will be fine with that.  Willie made my night on Thursday and the memories of that night will live with me forever.

I hope Megan knows that buying me those tickets was like buying me a little bit more hope and inspiration. 

A few words for Megan:
Thank you very much Megan.  I don't know how you understand me so damn well.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you live in my heart.  I still feel like I did about you from the start.  Thank you for putting me back together so many times when I just didn't have the strength to do it alone.  Thank you for telling me that this is all just a battle that we will learn from.  Thank you for believing in me and for feeding my soul.  I love you baby angel.  I will love you forever.

Has anyone ever done something so special for you that it still makes you happy to think about?  Have you ever done anything that special for someone else?

Enjoy the rest of this holiday weekend.  Today I need to rest a bit.  I feel good and it is great to have the girls here but I am pretty tired.  I had a pretty rough night last night and did not get much rest  but I will be just fine.  Maybe I need an afternoon in the park.  Maybe a big messy ice cream cone will make everything a little better.  That always works for the kids.

Smile today!  Life is going to be just fine!

Big Willie!

Tomorrow night is the big night!  I will see one of my favorite artists live and in person and I am very excited.  I wrote here after my wedding in April that my lovely bride bought me tickets to see Willie Nelson as a wedding gift.  She is so supportive!  It will be like forcing her to eat glass to get her to sit through the Willie show but she will do it and she will see me truly happy and she will enjoy that.  We both love seeing one another totally happy.  Her pretty eyes sparkle when she is happy.  About a month ago I sat through a Michael Bolton concert for her and that actually turned out to be a decent show.  Her eyes sparkled for that.  I really hope that she enjoys this just a bit.

In regard to health; I am feeling pretty good.  I have been very tired but that just sort of comes with the medication and illness.  I am excited about better possibilities but I know that I need to still be very careful and not get all crazy and do too much too fast.  That would only make me more of a mess.

I hope to check back here very soon.  I have my angels this weekend and I look forward to that very much.  Ice cream cones here we come!  Maybe I will have more pictures to share after the weekend.  We just set up a Flickr account for Lauren and she wants to take some shots to fill it up a bit.  She has a great eye!  I'll link to her account soon.

Have a wonderful rest of the week out there and do something exciting!  I am so excited about seeing Willie!  Right now I have 96 of his tracks shuffling on my iPod!  I can't wait to bust out a killer tie-dye shirt and some sandals and just enjoy his amazing work.  His music has always touched me.  Seeing him will certainly make that day count!  Thank you Megan!  I love you!

Smile today!

We had a great night!

Thanks for the comments and emails yesterday!  I was having a rough day.  But last night I did manage to break out of the house a bit and see a concert that I helped promote.  Meg and I had a nice time and I was able to meet some new people and see some good friends.  Sometimes I just need to get out to feel alive!

The video below may be worse than any others that I posted before but these guys are fantastic.  They are a local band here but they are trying to establish a solid following to get out of here.  They are called The Kung Fu Conspiracy. With a name like that, how can they not be fun to watch?

Have a great weekend and be safe and happy!  I will be attending a big party tomorrow night and I may see my kiddos on Sunday.  This weekend Lauren turns 10!  Wait a minute!  I have a 10 year old!  Holy crap!  Where did time go?  Can I have some of it back?

Thanks for reading today all!  Have fun out there!  If you have trouble seeing the video please give it a minute to process.

Hello Sonora Area!/Health Update

Photo of Megan by Angry F
I need to start this post by saying hello to readers of the Union Democrat newspaper in Sonora, CA!  Thank you for reading the story about me in your paper today.  I would love to hear from you!  If you have feedback or questions please leave a comment here or email me at ruben@eachdaycounts.com.

It is almost 1:00 in the morning here right now and I am winding down a bit from a launch party that I was at tonight for Modesto Famous.  Modesto Famous is a web site that I have been writing for.  We had a great time and it was wonderful to be surrounded by so many friends.  We are really lucky to have so many people supporting us!

As for the health update; I got a call from my liver specialist today and he let me know that my blood tests are stable for the most part but that some levels are very high.  He has ordered another round of ultra sound testing.  I have trouble with testing because in a situation like mine, the results always get worse and never improve.  They won't improve until after I receive a transplant.  It is pretty rough on me to hear that my liver is still in such bad shape and getting worse.  I just have to roll with the punches I guess and just stay as postive as possible.

I should probably get to sleep now.  I am getting tired and I hope that I can sleep in a bit.  It will be nice to get into bed and cuddle with Megan!  I can feel that I need some rest so I had better listen to my body.  I hope that everyone out there has an amazing weekend.  I will check in when I can.  I hope to spend some quality time with my new wife and I want so bad to feel healthy all weekend.  But I know that if I don't feel well that she will care for me and that feels great!

Smile this weekend as much as you possibly can and think about all the things that you are blessed to have.  If you are having a hard time, think about a time when you were truly the happiest.  That always works to pick me up a bit!

Monkey food and ass cream!

Another  Monday is here and I am sitting in my chair here at Starbuck's sipping on a tea and watching the sky outside fade in and out of various stages of darkness.  It has been raining all day and I love that.  The rain always make me feel different.  It makes me feel clean in a way.  It makes me feel new and alive.  Is that strange?

Anyway, I was doing dishes this morning and I felt a giant horse kick me in the side and almost knock me on my ass.  Ok...so there are no horses in my kitchen but my liver side is sure hurting me today.  So today I am on a steady diet of tea, pain pills and great music (click here for a great, great tune).  Hopefully that will help out a bit.  I sure hope so because when I hurt I tend to get grumpy and when I get all grumpy Megan gets all grumpy and that is never good.

So...Megan, I am sorry baby girl.  I hurt today and that is not your fault.  I am sorry to take the pain out on you.  I know that you would carry it for me if you could.  Thank you my friend.

In other happenings...this Google ad thing is providing me with endless entertainment.  The stuff that comes up for sale on my blog is really odd and funny.  But thanks for clicking on them and please keep doing that if you have a few extra seconds.  I have almost paid for a month of hosting!  Sweet! 

I wonder if we can mess with Google a bit...

I hear that the ads are selected based on what is written on a site.  Maybe if you leave a comment, leave a random word or two and we will see what happens.  I'll start....

Monkey Food
Foot Cheese
Ass Cream

Will I be promoting any of these things soon?  We will see!

Smile today! Laugh! Do something for your soul that makes it all happy and ready to dance!  I'll be ok.  I promise you that!

Updates and stuff...

I just wanted you to know (especially you Shannon) that I have finally updated the list of blogs that I read below.  I feel truly blessed to have so many great things to read and so many dedicated readers that read about my life and my struggles as I fight this battle.

I got a message today on myspace from a friend that I have known since I was 10 and it meant a great deal to me.  She said that she had a dream about me and that I would help her to have a brighter day.  Maybe she does not realize that her words will help me to have a brighter day.  Thanks Renee! Smile today!

The last few days have brought pain and emotion to my life but I am still fighting as hard as I can to just be ok.  Everyday, I get messages from people all over the world that wish me well and that means so much to me!  I am so lucky and I thank you all for fighting with me.  I am not about to ever give up.  You are all stuck with me for a while!

One more thing...
I would like to send a special thank you out to Ryan and Holly of The Cobalt Season for giving me hope through their amazing music and positive outlook.

If you want to hear some amazing songs of  hope, check out the following sites:
The Cobalt Season Website
The Cobalt Season on myspace

While you are at their site I suggest that you order up a copy of their latest album.  Their work is amazing!

Here's to a better day!  Have a great one!  Smile!