Each Day Counts

Today be me favorite holiday you scurvy dogs!

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!  Here are the top 29 things to say at work today!

29 "Arrrgh-Bring me a servin' wench to bid me me pleasures!"
28 "Argh-lad, is that Lee Elliott over there - or am I as mad as a salted herring?"
27> "Billions of blue blistering barnacles!" - Oh My God!
24> "Hop to it, dogs: Thar be leftover catering booty in the break room for plunderin'."
23> "Sixteen men an' a copier mess -- yo, ho, ho and a bottle of toner."
22> "Avast, men! Get a spyglass full of the doubloons on *that* vessel."
21> "I'll be keelhaulin' the next one of ye what leaves ye filthy Tupperware in the break room sink!"
20> "Arrr, matey, have your parrot call my parrot and we'll one day partake of noontime grub together."
19> "No, Bob Dess, I will not 'shiver your timbers.' I will, however, call my attorney."
18> "To arms, me lads! The spoils of the snack machine shall be ours, to each in a fortieth share!"
17> "Me cell phone fell deep into Davy Jones' locker Nobody flush... I'll go get me hook."
16> "Save that last donut for me, unless ya care to feel the cold steel of my hook hand up yer arse, matey."
15> "Be that a peg leg, or arrr ye just happy to cast yer eyes upon me?"
14> "Fax ahoy, mateys!"
13> "Avast! A Team Builders meeting off our schedule's port bow! Scuttle yer productivity, mateys, and prepare to be bored-ed!"
12> "No increase in me pay? Arrr, boss, let me tell ye where ye can store that hook!"
11> "Hold that elevator, ye whoreson bilge rat!"
10> "Ye bent my ear with yer lubberly questions WITHOUT tryin a reboot first? Arrr! It's the plank for you, ye mangy cur... and thank ye for calling Microsoft Tech Support!"
9> "Arrr, load the Canon, wench, and collate me copies!"
8> "Avast, ya scurvy knave! Brave be ye, for certain, but arrr ye willin' ta die fer that parking spot?"
7> "Twenty paces past the Magic Fountain of Water... bear ye left past the Chamber of Meetings... and a minute's voyage down the Great Carpeted Hallway... the unisex bathroom'll be on yer port side."
6> "Aye, if it's a large treasure chest and amazin' booty ye seek, fix yer gaze upon the receptionist."
5> "Boss, I'll be borrowin' a coupla doubloons from petty cash fer some Ho Ho's and a bottle of rum."
4> "Aaaarrrrrghhh! Who among us floated the air mead?"
3> "Arrr! I've arrr!anged for Arrr!lene in arrr!chives to send up that arrr!ticle on arrr!bitration."
2> "Avast, ye demon copy machine! Taste the wrath of my arse!"
1> "Arrr, I have made note of yer demands and I have but one question for ye: Will ye be wantin' slivers o' potato fried in the popular French style with that?"

If you really want to get fancy use this handy English to Pirate translator!

Have fun out there mateys!  If you don't have some fun I may be havin' to find a slivered plank for you to be walkin' on!

Fall air, Barenaked Ladies, John Mayer and Los Lobos

I am sitting here alone just trying to get down some lunch but I am not sure how long that it will stick with me.  Everything that I eat lately seems to want to come back and say hello again.  I just got home from Target and I am pretty happy to have discovered that they are "dog friendly."  This means that I won't be hassled by security if I let Tinkerbell ride in the cart as I cruise the aisles.  She sure loves it!  Kids and incredibly beautiful woman seem to have a fondness for her.  They may fear me, but they love her!

So, the music is playing here like always and I am listening to some work that was released last week by Los Lobos, The Barenaked Ladies and John Mayer.  Mayer's album will be a massive hit but the others will probably only have marginal sales.  That is just not right because Los Lobos has never sounded this damn good and The Barenaked Ladies...well they are just a personal favorite of mine.

So Meg will be home tonight about 9:00 and she has had a hell of a day.  So I will hold her and maybe we will watch a film or something.  Time with her is so rare anymore and that fact is taking a toll on me.  I know that she is gone for a reason but I have the right to miss her.  Hopefully the next year or so will bring some changes in our lives that will allow us more freedom and time.  Time is precious around here.  Time should be precious everywhere.

Have a great day out there in the world today!  Maybe cruise over to Target with your pooch and cruise the music racks.  There is some great stuff out right now!

Trying this one more time...

Readers of this blog are probably tired of me moving it all over the web.  But here I am doing it one more time.  As you can see, I have updated the look a bit and I will add some new features and links in the near future.  I am not really sure why I am messing with it so much.  I am just restless I guess.  Maybe my life is reflecting on my writings.  Lately my life has been all over the place.  I have had all sorts of ups and downs.

As for health, I need to thank everyone out there for riding the wave of my last procedure with me.  There was good news and bad news and that was so much better than just the bad news that I am used to hearing.

The bad news is that one of my bile ducts has totally stopped working.  In addition to that, my spleen is in bad shape.  It is very enlarged and is causing some pressure on my colon and one of my kidneys.  But the good news is that there is a whole new piece that is growing on my liver and that is great.  According to my doctors, I may have some more time to live before I am faced with a liver transplant.  The fact that I will need a liver transplant does not change however.  Thankfully though, I may have more time and more time means more kissing Megan and more holding my daughters.  More time also means more time with my friends and more time to read and write.  More time means that I get the opportunity to live a longer life and that is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

So keep surfing by here once in a while if you have some spare time and see how my funny life is taking shape.  I will be out here in California doing what I can to keep my head above water.  I will be trying to take all this in and I will trying to figure out what direction that I will take in my life from here.  I am not sure if things will change around here.  I would still like to take Meg and Tinkerbell and move closer to a beach and I would still like to sell a few words one day.

Life is so odd.  We only have one chance at making a go of it and we all want it to be great.  But just be careful.  You never know when something will happen all of a sudden that just rocks you.  Just make sure that when you get shaken up that you do it while you are living a life that makes you happy.

Thank you again for reading this and trust me this time.  Each Day Counts will stay right here at Typepad and it will be updated almost everyday.  That is my promise to you.  I will do whatever I can to keep that promise.

This would be a good day to read...

It is 10:14 a.m. here and I have many things to do but I am sitting here trying to organize my thoughts and I keep nodding off.  My body is telling me to go back to bed and rest but I know that if I do I will be down for hours and hours and I can't do that today.  My stomach is killing me and my back is throbbing.  I feel broke down today.  Again.

I have the babies tonight.  That is all I have been thinking about.  I hope I can have enough energy this weekend for parks and ice cream cones.  I get so tired pushing Gracie on the swing.  A stronger daddy could push her for hours.  That really hurts me to think about.  It just breaks my heart.  She just wants to play.  Every child needs to be pushed on a swing.

I wrote the title of this post based on the statement that I am about to type.  I found it in a book that Meg bought me a while back.

It says:

WE'RE ALL TERMINAL.
Some of us are just lucky enough to know it.

Life is a spiritual journey.
And sometimes all you have to do is show up
and have a little faith that something
completely amazing is possible any day.

And every now and then
right when you least expect it,
something amazing does happen.

And you are no more in control
than a feather in the wind.
All you know is that the force moving you is so strong
that you just hang on in wonder.

There is nothing but the moment
and the sense of dancing with angels.

so ALIVE...

My life is so damn strange.  I never pick up this book but today I did and I sure needed to.  I just don't know what to do today or just how to feel.  I hurt so damn bad.  I want to sleep.  I don't want to wake up.  But they need me tonight.  They will hold me and tell me that they love me and that I am a good daddy and my heart will melt and my energy will surge and we will eat ice cream and laugh and smile.

Eat ice cream today.  Laugh.  Smile.  It will all be alright if you let thet power of life just take over and handle what you can't control.  I can't control the illness that is eating me alive but I certainly can try to make 'each day count.'

Have a happy day!

-Ruben

Devil Ducks and Flaming Lips!

Here it is Monday night and the kids have been gone almost four hours.  Meg and I just got back from taking Tink for a walk and we are both tired.  I feel pretty good in regard to health but the itching is bad again tonight and I am physically exhausted.

The funny thing is that I am still happy no matter the health issues tonight because I had a wonderful weekend with my little family.  We went on an incredible picnic yesterday and as usual, Megan provided for us very well.  She thinks of everything and she never misses a beat.  You know...just typing that makes me a little teary out here.  I hate to think about it, but I pray that she is ok if I can't get through all of this crap.  She has so very much love to give!

Back to the weekend...last night we broke out the new fire pit and fired up a Duraflame log for the kids.  They wanted to make s'mores and they had a blast!  When Lauren was little I did not spend enough time with her and I was always worried about her being clean.  With Grace, I just let her go and be a kid and I am so glad that I have a second chance to do that.  I hope that I am a good daddy.  Not just a father or a dad, but a "daddy."  Meg still calls her dad that because he is so special to her.  I want to be special to my babies and I want them to always have fond memories of me.

To see the devil duck and a few other pics of our fun weekend, click here.  Also enjoy this video and don't worry,  Lauren is just fine.

Have a great week out there and find some time to breathe a bit in between tasks.  Life is so damn busy any more and that is sad sometimes.  We only have one shot at this life thing.  How do we know if we are doing it right?

Pain issues (Updated)

Photo by Clark Miller
First of all I need to say thank you to anyone who read the article in The Modesto Bee today and came here because of that.  If that is how you got here, you can click here to read a post that talks a bit more about me in detail.  Please feel free to email me anytime and for any reason at: ruben@eachdaycounts.com

Now for the rest of this post...

It is 1:27 a.m here and I am the only person up in the house.  My wife is asleep with Tinkerbell, our loyal and loving Chihuahua and I am up and typing away like I do so often.  I am honestly afraid to go lay down and try to sleep because I am scared.
 
You see, I had a very, very hard time last night with pain in my side and it really got to me.  I guess that I am living on borrowed time now and that really worries me.  I never know when things will slide downhill.  I never know when I will end up in the hospital.  I could have gone to the hospital last night for pain medicine but I stuck it out.  Megan sat up with me and held me and watched as I paced around our little house afraid to lay down.  She listened to me ramble and wiped away my tears and made me feel alive again.  She is amazing.  Her love is so pure and whole.

Sometimes I have so much trouble fighting all of this.  Sometimes I just want to give up.  But I know that it is not my time so I just focus and do what I can to put myself together and head into another day.  That is how I live anymore.  That is what keeps me going.

Maybe I should rest now.  I have to have some photos of myself shot tomorrow for an article for another local newspaper so I should probably be ready for that.  If anyone out there is trying to figure out why I get involved in so much press, it is because I hope that I can inspire someone out there.

There may be one person that reads an article about me that is dealing with a loss or a diagnosis or another painful pothole in life's road that may be able to get some hope from my crazy life.  I am sick.  I am very, very sick and my system could give up one day before I qualify to get the parts that I need to keep my gears turning.  But, I just sort of chug along.  My mom says that I need to have high hopes.  My dad says that I need to ask God for help.  I agree with those sentiments and I feel like whatever happens in my life is meant to happen for a reason of some sort.

Lets do this... I'll work on dealing with my pain if you work on making every second that you have rewarding and special.  I try to laugh every single day no matter what happens.  We can all do that.  Let me know how your battle is going and I will be here if you want to read about mine.

My eyes are slowly closing here.  I need to sleep.  I will get through the pain if it comes tonight.  Megan will help me.  I will be just fine.  Have a great day today and breathe easy.  Life will be just fine!  I am doing alright out here.

Just so busy...

Photo taken by Matt Frederick

I just wanted everyone out there to know that I am doing great out here.   I have been tired and low on energy but otherwise health is just fine.  I have myself involved with a new project with a local site and guess what...???  I am becoming a professional blogger!  One day I will be rich and famous and able to travel to meet all the nice people that have supported me over the years.  Ok...maybe the rich and famous part won't actually happen but I would like to visit!

Also, wedding plans are in full force and taking shape nicely.  If you have not visited our wedding site click here.  The site is fun and features a great slideshow of our life together.

If you want to see my latest project click here.  The site is in beta so we have bugs and test messages up but that is ok.  It will be perfect with time.  Or at least as close to perfect as we can get it.  My blog there is called Motown Mojo.  I'd appreciate any and all feedback on my words there!

Keep in touch with me when you can.  I want to know that you are doing well.  Every reader that I get means a great deal to me.  Email me at ruben@eachdaycounts.com anytime at all for any reason!

Smile today!

The Dedication

I am sitting here working on some homework for a biography class that I am taking and I thought that I would post a piece of the assignment for you to read.  The assignment is to write a dedication of sorts that explains my reasons for wanting to write a biography.

This is what I came up with:

Dedication

I would dedicate my biography to my daughters. If I cannot get through the disease that I have I want them to know the real person that I was. I want them to know that they were thought of every day and that they influenced every decision that I ever made. I want them to see that I was a good guy no matter what they ever heard about me.

I would also dedicate it to my future wife, Megan and I would write within its pages the promises that she made to me while I was alive. She promised to live and love and never stop teaching whether I survived the battle or not and I hope that she lives up to that.  I only want her to be happy forever with or without me.

I would want people that need hope to read my biography and I hope that they can understand that I never gave up living no matter my circumstances. I want them to read about my anguish and my pain and my sorrow so they know that those things are natural and that they can be lived through.  There are times when I wanted to give up and die but fighting is the way to go.  A person should never give up hope.  Hope is something that can never be taken away from you.  Money can come and go.  Jobs can come and go.  Even love can come and go but hope is built in and needs to be nurtured and treasured.

More than anything I want people to sit and read my biography and laugh and smile at my misadventures. I want people to realize that living is the best part of life. Smiling in my opinion is good for the soul. It took me years and years to realize that but that is something that means more to me than anything at all. Think about when a child smiles. There is nothing brighter than a big toothless smile when sadness has set in and hope seems a million miles away. And when an elderly person smiles think about all the wisdom in that smile. That is a beautiful thing.

My biography will never be meant for me to make a fortune. I would like it published online so that the world can read my words for free. If just one person that reads it and finds hope within its pages my job was done. If just one person realizes that living like ‘Each Day Counts’ helps them, I was a success.

***

One more thing...The photo above (click it to see it larger) is one that I took in a flower shop over this past weekend while we were out making wedding plans.  If you need an injection of insanity and color you can see all my online photos by clicking here. 

I have been updating them more and more lately.  Feel free to leave comments.

Smile today!

 

Just some words...

Sometimes when he got really drunk the old man would walk to the dock and sit in his old wooden boat.  He would laugh and sip his whiskey until he finally stopped thinking about her but the only trips he took were in his mind.  When the bottle began to run dry he would begin to see her again sitting across from him and he would cry.  When the tears came he would stumble home and look for another bottle to save him from himself for just a while longer.  He was so tired of living only to hide from her traces.  Why couldn't she have taken the memories with her when she went away?  Why did she leave them all in his heart when they only burned through him like the straight whiskey that would only take them away for moments?

Photo Courtesy/www.sxc.hu/Click here or on the image to enlarge.